


Plucking Petals

by aurorae



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: M/M, One-Sided Attraction, Possessive Behavior, literally killua loses all self control
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-22
Updated: 2013-12-22
Packaged: 2018-01-05 05:30:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,652
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1090170
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aurorae/pseuds/aurorae
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nobody cared for Gon as much as Killua did and absolutely no one ever will.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Plucking Petals

**Author's Note:**

> **_experimental_** one shot based on [this](http://pechyenka.tumblr.com/post/67132508575/come-out-come-out-wherever-you-aaare) image set really i just wanted to see if i could do this
> 
> but really tho “u should have recognized his feelings gon now killuas fuckin snapped” ayyyy

Like traveling through an everlasting, blackened path devoid of light – no light bulb fixtures aligned against the walls or overhead, no natural sunlight filtering through the cold linings, just a thickening darkness pressing against his lungs, a cold draft crawling up his spine, raising the hairs on the back of his neck. A stumble would rouse his attention that he was still walking on the trail littered with rugged, unstructured potholes—he assumed they were potholes—and very faintly he could establish the distinction when his trail would often divide into a split for him to decide which path he would take: it was a useless struggle to choose between the paths when, regardless, neither would offer an exit.

And just when defeat was enveloping him that he would slump to his knees and wholeheartedly accept there was absolutely nothing for him—a form of company of an animal or of a human, a familiar voice searching for him, a reassuring pat on the back to lift his crestfallen spirit that the exit would soon be within reach—he would gather the willpower to look forward despite the slim chances tormenting his mind that nothing would have changed, that the trail beyond him would just stretch and stretch and _stretch,_

then Killua would see the light of his friend, his best friend, with both hands circled around his mouth, his voice would brim the entire tunnel with the liveliest shine,

and he would realize the trail was not so long after all: a one-way path with Gon waiting at the end—

He needed Gon, but equally he needed to protect Gon from breaking, whether from emotional distress or physical violence: he was more precious than any flimsy plastic toy that catered to his attention temporarily but was sturdier than glass to keep together in one piece.

Nobody cared for Gon as much as he did and absolutely no one ever will.

Killua was never fond of sharing.

—and Gon would bellow for his friend to hasten his pace, Killua would eagerly accept the request to follow and join him wherever they set their sights on,

to follow him to cities and beyond,

to follow him through grasslands and over grandeur mountains,

and it would always be _together._

_he loves me,_

During a stop to one city, Gon made a new acquaintance of the same age as he: a gentle girl that expressed an endless amount of gratitude for warding away her pursuers—while at first hesitating, she expressed her troubles fending off several loan sharks harassing her to collect the little earnings her family received to pay off a fraction of their debt—while everyone else turned the blind eye in public despite spotting her often weaving and shoving through a crowd to flee from a group of thugs on a daily basis. As an act of appreciation she invited Gon for a modest meal, to which Killua immediately interjected with a fiery indignation as he rejected the offer on his behalf as well as Gon’s. Her eyes softened at the hardened negativity of Killua’s refusal; dejectedly she brought her hands together, fiddling with her dirt smidgen fingers.

Gon laughed nervously, to ease Killua’s hostility and the girl’s disappointment, he explained, “Killua doesn’t mean it! It’s just, uh,” he paused to collect an excuse that was not entirely a fabricated lie either, “we’re really tired. It’s been days since we arrived anywhere, aha!”

“Oh,” the girl said, her mood visibly uplifted. “Is this your first time here?” her question earned her a friendly nod, and with an overjoyed glint in her eyes she offered, “I can give you a tour instead. Ahh,” the tips of her ears felt warm, a blush creeping on her cheeks, “to-tomorrow though, so you can rest! If…that’s okay…?”

Killua peevishly intervened, “We’ll be gone by then.”

“Oh…”

Gon’s lips upturned in gentle apology. “Sorry, sorry, I think he’ll feel a lot better when he gets some sleep,” sending his friend a grimace before he could retort unkindly to her, Gon continued, “but sure! It’ll be really fun!”

“You can’t be serious,” he clamored.

Miffed that Gon decided to ignore him after his outburst and during the walk to the local inn, Killua’s agitation had increased dangerously in the morning when he was roused awake by the sound of Gon shuffling around the room to gather his belongings – and the days continued in such a manner that intensified his resentment over the town girl—she had given up extending her invitations to Killua after a series of aggressive rebuffs—asking Gon every other day to accompany to her a different part of the town that was not just limited to historic landmarks but small shops or food stands.

On other occasions, Killua would stalk the pair traveling from place to place, sharing kindhearted smiles, lively chuckles, energetic conversations, and other times he would begrudgingly tag along to supervise the pair and ensured his animosity shortened their time together when she would fake a sickness or explain that her family was waiting on her specifically when accompanied.

Despite his close friendship with Killua, Gon would grumpily argue with him to be “nicer,” Killua would direct him a false look of cluelessness, emphasizing that he was being “nice.”

The extent of Killua’s patience reached an end on one afternoon, the sun settling pleasantly on the small town, the streets lined with festive lights, voices shouting enthusiastically to sample and try new food, to join a fun competitive game with other people, or showcase visually pleasing clothes and decorations. The town girl—time and time again, Gon told him her name, but Killua dismissed it regardless. He reasoned it was not worth remembering—had strayed away from Gon to ogle a vendor selling floral rhinestone hair combs, with the vendor’s permission she carefully attached the accessory over her hair, grinning brightly into the mirror the stand provided.

Killua nearly left to return to the inn but stopped short when he spotted Gon out of the corner of his eye, he seemed relieved he found her and made a loud sound of admiration over the accessory. She nodded, plucked it out of her hair, set it down on the table in its respective place, and gestured to continue looking.

When she continued forward, Gon purchased the accessory and hid it in his backpack, presumably to surprise her later. After a tiring hour of following them through the crowd, they had settled themselves on a bench, conversing and pointing out the stars and constellations in the jaws of the night sky.

And when he presented the accessory to her, she gasped delightedly, lowering her head so Gon can peak his tongue out of the corner of his mouth, neatly trying to set it in her hair.

She giggled happily and admitted she had to run home early, then timidly kissed Gon’s cheek before scampering away, waving behind her in her dash. Gon, without missing a beat, waved farewell to her as well.

She was reported missing the next morning.

Killua willingly accepted that although Gon was frantically searching for her rather than paying him any regard, barely responding to his questions, and carried a gray cloud over his head,

she was gone,

it was merely just the _two_ of them again. 

_he loves me not,_

Throughout their days, Killua made a subtle attempt to splurge a chunk of his account to boost Gon's sullen mood lingering on the 'disappearance' of the short-lived budding friendship he had the chance to experience with the town girl. The expenses consisted of platters of different cuisines each city highlighted throughout the streets on large, colorful posters that enticed Gon by forming the expectant twinkle in his eyes drawn to the aroma that sprung a smile on Killua's face. By acting as if it were a hassling obligation to accompany Gon, he would unnoticeably pay the waiter for the meal beforehand, much to Gon's dismay when he insisted that he should pay half or pay completely at least once.

Every time Gon argued over the same problem, Killua would load his leftovers on his spoon, catapulting the flying chunks on his friend's face to silence him despite the huffy frown and eventual food fight that would ensue. In no time they would be escorted outside or banned from the establishment, a streak, although disgraceful, was something they prided themselves in: the record to be banned from as many restaurants as possible but they would still act civilized to be served their meals before spurring several acts of mischief.

Killua would pretend to have an interest over some toys and treats to convince Gon to partake, granting him the opportunity to purchase materialistic and cavity-inducing products to see his wild smile full of joy and excitement. While Gon had his fun with sweets and small toys, Killua would admire the upturned lips usually babbling about one thing or another. At night, when he was completely certain Gon had dropped his reflexive guard and was deep in the realm of slumber—with sloppy posture and all, such as drool spilling out of the corners of his mouth—Killua would crawl over his snoozing friend, setting feather-light pecks on the tip of Gon's nose, temple, forehead, and when he gathered enough courage, the bottom of his lip.

When Killua would retreat, he occasionally set his hand over Gon’s, entwining their fingers together but always setting his grip casually loose when he felt the slightest stir.

_he loves me,_

In their trek through a vast forest, they navigated through the dense green tresses until night befell them to exchange looks of mutual agreement to camp for the night and resume the journey in the coming morning. Along the way the pair discussed the delicacies of the candy and food in the next town, their conversation reached a standstill when both were taken by surprise a small, primitive wooden shack was constructed deep within the thickets of greenery regardless of the dangerous native creatures roaming about and its staggering distance from the next town or the town prior they had lodged in for a short time. Gon, bouncing on the balls of his heels, urged Killua to join him inside the temporary shelter that also served as an excuse to investigate for any interesting remains.

Killua pointedly objected on the basis of its cramped arrangements, the accumulation of dust and cobwebs, of hostile infestations, and its decaying material that barely kept the shack erect. Eventually the two left the area, trekking further within to find a suitable spot near a cleared area of stumps and abundant amount of fruit bearing shrubbery, the two scrambling to prepare materials for a meal to be roasted to satisfy their grumbling appetites.

Killua returned with a bundle of twigs and stones while Gon returned with several fishes from a nearby river beyond their camping sight. After a food fight—or more less throwing the uneaten tails, bones, and spines of the fishes at one another—Gon rummaged through the contents of his backpack and drew out a large chocolate bar, waving it alluringly to capture his friend's attention.

"Whoa, when did you get that?" amending his statement, Killua grinned brightly. "Actually, who cares. You should give me half!"

"I don't know…should I?" he hummed mischievously; in a playful manner he tapped the tip of the candy bar on his chin to feign a look of deep contemplation.

"If you don't, I'll snatch it and eat it all!" he joked in return.

Gon nudged his backpack close to the campfire for safekeeping before hoisting himself on his feet, absently wiping the dust off his shorts. Breaking the candy bar in half, he stuffed the two halves into his pockets, then broke out a grin directed at his mildly confused friend.  "It's all yours if you can catch me!" he announced excitedly, backstepping a length away and finally taking off in a rapid sprint.

Killua blinked, baffled at the sudden imposed challenge – then it clicked in an instant, determined he offered Gon four seconds to run off until he would commence the search. Once the seconds elapsed, Killua took to the trees, surveying the grassland from the tall heights for a greater field of perception to spot Gon quicker: a roundabout method to find the other if anything, but to his advantage Gon never mentioned any rules.

Upon spotting him, Killua made an effort to remain silent and discreet as he returned to ground level, like a feline he waited behind a shrub, observing Gon curiously shifting his focus in different directions like a lost puppy, as if encouraging someone to find him sooner but was still wearing a bashful smile of someone anticipating a lengthy game.

Killua pounced, sending them tumbling down a hill, simultaneously uttering a gasp of shock that transitioned into fits of laughter when they held onto one another tightly by their arms; their childish tendencies tarnished their outfits with grass stains and specks of dirt. Having their clothes filthy was an issue the two of them had little problem overlooking as they finally reached flat lands. Killua's laughter, however, subsided when he realized his compromising position over Gon still bearing a goofy grin.

A compulsive driven motion stirred Killua to act against his better judgment to dip his head and press his lips against Gon, the body that trembled from a series of chuckles stiffened immediately, the movement of his lips faltered from a radiant grin to a neutral fine line.

Gon turned his head the other way, shimmied out of Killua's hold, and sat an arm's length away, then proceeded to remove the candy bar from his pocket and set it in front of him – their game was well over, Killua earned the reward of their chase and there was not a single word Gon could share to console the rejection he could not bear to witness on Killua's face.

Sighing through his nose, Killua confessed suddenly in their silence. "I…sorry, Gon. That was…a really dumb thing to…to do, but listen, I-"

Gon leaned forward, clasping both hands against Killua's mouth to muffle his words. "I think you should really save that for, uh, someone else?" he chuckled feebly, his fake sheepish grin beaming to lighten the tense atmosphere. Withdrawing his hands and continuing before Killua could interject, he said, "Um, maybe in the next town we should—we should separate…? I mean, only for a while! Like a couple of weeks or months sounds right!"

Killua sent him a blank stare.

Gon scratched the back of his neck. "I think this happened because you've always been stuck with me?" Hoisting himself back on his feet, Gon turned on the balls of his heels, taking a casual slow stride into the trail of the forest. "What do you think of the idea?" he asked aloud, assuming Killua was following suit. "We could start in the morning instead if it sounds good-"

A gust of wind rushed past Gon that cut him off mid-sentence, his mind registering that Killua was suddenly past him, the night sky and his fringes obscuring his expression, his fingers coated with a fresh lining of blood dripping down his palm. A burst of pain erupted around Gon's thigh bearing a set of deep claw marks that penetrated through the layer of his skin, his torn flesh exposed a leak of blood running down the back of his leg and thigh, he recoiled in agony, his mouth hanging wide agape to fathom a wound inflicted by his friend. Rendered speechless to press Killua for his malicious intent, Gon redirected his gaze on Killua wiping the excess on his shirt.

Without a moment's hesitation, Gon’s instincts kicked in to flee, and although bruised, adrenaline led him to the only refuge he could think of in his rush through the passing low leveled tree branches and thorned shrubs.

He did not seize the chance to glimpse behind his shoulder to determine if Killua was in hot pursuit.

_he loves me not,_

With the door bolted shut behind him, Gon hobbled into a corner of the shack, stray a few inches away from the broken window that could have offered a glimpse of his poor hiding spot, but the darkness of the night granted him a moment of graceful peace to run the pad of his fingers on the painful bruising around his leg, the tips of his digits smeared with a coating of his blood tricking down his thigh – rather it was the only sensation of warmth permeating his jittery and chilled body, the lack of resourceful heating only heightened the intensity of his fears to chance a glance at the door or the window in case Killua was prowling the area,  
  
or if he was already nearby, calling his name in an amorously haunting manner, his tone absent of his usual boyish quality that defined him but now possessed the tremble of the excitably delirious.  
  
For a couple of passing minutes, Gon regained his normal heart rate to finally exhale properly to ease his frazzled nerves, his stiffened muscles relaxed in his respite, he heaved a sigh of relief when he peered at the window that revealed the ordinary sight of the star cluttered sky and the canopies of the tall evergreens. He reasoned the injury would dull within the passing night—or become severely infected, horrid discoloration and all, but he crossed his fingers the former scenario would occur—enough to limp to an area that offered a phone signal or assitance from a local clinic that would remedy the searing sting. His lips twitched upwards at the corner in a lopsided smile: he was going to make it through the night! As long as Killua was looking elsewhere, he thought positively he would be saf–  
  
the thick lumber of the shack resonated the loud scratches running slowly through its material, the illuminative moonlight drew Gon's attention to the passing shadow reflected on the broken planks of the wooden floor, his stomach plummeting as he recognized the unruly mess of hair on the silhouette. His surroundings constricted his breathing and tampered with his wavering consciousness—"Gon, where are you?" he murmured softly, the stillness in the air echoed Killua's nearly inaudible heavy pants of his impatient lustful fervor—the noise of Killua's nails raking through the shack's wooden exterior ceased in an instant, replaced by the anxiety inducing dread of the doorknob jiggling in place. Before Gon could blink to replenish the moisture in his dry eyes, the door was forcibly kicked open; its rusty hinges were torn off its pane from the merciless impact.  
  
Gon curled his fingers on the fabric of his shorts, retreating against the corner of the wall as much as he possibly could.  
  
Killua gave a brief visual sweep of the shack, he laughed quietly to himself spotting a trail of red dots stopping short at the darkened corner, and the dim illumination of the night sky gauged his movements to investigate the small pool of red and the familiar, endearing green fabric. The unhurried steps he took creaked loudly beneath his feet, his chest was rising and falling in his unrestrained excitement, quietly he called out to Gon in the same fashion as he did earlier, his heart hammering in his chest as Gon shuffled to tuck his legs.

When the tip of his shoe brushed against friend’s kneecap, Killua kneeled down to his level, his hand outstretched and cupping Gon’s cheek tenderly, his thumb running soothing circles to ease Gon’s panicked tremor. “Friends stick together, right?” Killua asked patiently, he counted down from ten in his head, eagerly waiting for an answer. However, disappointment washed over when Gon never responded despite the odds against him in his condition, irritation consumed him shortly after to press the tip of his nail at the corner of his mouth. “ _Right?”_  he asked again, his voice low and petulant.

Gon swatted Killua’s hand away. “Th-They do!” he paused to clear his throat and regain an ounce of unfaltering determination to replace the tremble in his voice. “But this isn’t the Killua I know! _This isn’t my best friend!”_

“You idiot, of course I’m myself! Who else would I be?” he laughed aloud, sincere and wholeheartedly. As his amusement faded into smaller intakes of breath, Killua quirked his head, realization darkening his mood in one fell swoop. “Wait, are you trying to say _we_ aren’t best friends? Take…take that back, Gon!” he hissed maliciously, his anger rising to a fevered pitch as his eyebrows knit together.

“You know, all I wanted to hear you say…” Killua frowned, pain evident in his blue irises. “I was…really obvious, but somehow things always flew over your head!” A lot more positively, he beamed, “But that doesn’t mean a little force won’t work!”

Gon’s blood loss slowed his reaction time: he could not gather the strength without fainting to take a firm grip of Killua’s wrist or offer his arm as a last resort to protect himself against the sharpened nails that had plunged into his chest, ripping out his heart from its cavity with minimal effort. Gasping for breath, Gon’s unsteady hand gently felt around belly, steadily rising to brush against the gaping hole left in his chest, his large brown eyes flickered from his injury to Killua until eventually his eyelids drew closed, his body limp and lifeless.

Cooing at the beating organ in his hand, Killua smiled pleasantly of the warmth soothingly heating his cold fingers, and for the passing seconds that felt like a still, timeless eternity, he raised Gon's heart to admire its scarlet hue before pressing the organ onto his cheek to nuzzle against it affectionately – it was his,  
  
Gon's heart was his and his alone.

_he loves me!_

**Author's Note:**

> (fluffy) kirugon is like my hyper potion while hisogon is my full restore 
> 
> funny enough originally i wasnt gonna do a major character death thing like it was gonna be implied it was gonna happen but shrugs things happen
> 
> EDIT: woke up to [this](http://pechyenka.tumblr.com/post/70881036880/he-loves-me) and cries like a hyena _i cant believe_


End file.
